The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The main point of dating someone is to get to know that person better, so you can decide if the two of you have long-term potential.The best way to do that is by having plenty of good conversations, so you can learn how your date thinks and feels about the things that are important to you.You may be nervous, but that’s no reason to speak out the first thing that comes to your mind.
This also allows you to know how wild or daring she really is.The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. That's why it's so important to steer some of your conversations to topics that will help you find the answers you seek.Of course, it's always important to make a good first impression.